You Don't Know Me
Before you take one look at me and judge me by what you see honey... open your eyes. Just because I'm quiet at first, doesn't mean I'm stuck up. Just because I have a "pretty face" doesn't mean that I'm a snob.
Personality goes much deeper.
I was quiet because as a child, I never stayed in one place. I struggled all my life, never had a stable environment, never stayed in a school for more than a year, so I went against making close friends. I figured... I'm moving next year anyway, I guess it'll be a new me.
Every time I moved, I dared myself to "reinvent", but ended up being the same girl that was quiet and people thought of as shy... most saying I was stuck up. In reality, I wasn't stuck up, I wanted friends, I wanted to be in that "popular clique", but because of my "shyness" and inability to trust people and let them get close to me... I was considered that "lame girl with a pretty face that never wore trendy clothes".
Like I said... I was struggling, lived in 3 shelters for a while, the worse having to share a bunk bed with total strangers, a big room consisting of almost 50 beds. Most of my clothes came from Value Village and other local thrift stores.
My mother never gave up, she was a single mother, a super woman and my respect for her goes beyond words. I know people who's parents gave up, became accustomed to that street drug, didn't give a da** about their kids, but not my mother. She never touched that stuff, worked several jobs at a time, just to make sure her babies had food in their mouths and some warm clothes to wear in the winter. Because of her, I never gave up, I never stopped dreaming, I never stopped believing in myself. Since college, I no longer move around, I'm no longer shy, I no longer have deep trusting issues, I no longer love the idea of constant change and the "attempt" to reinvent myself (though it's never worked, I was still the same o same LOL)... I've grown to be a better woman. A strong woman.
I can't believe I'm saying all this in a public blog, but it's gotta be told. I can't stand when people judge you when they know nothing about you... it's not far. Take the time to get to know a person, find out their "life story". You'll be surprised as to why people are the way that they are.
7 comments:
I hear you about the judging. People say the exact same things about me. I'm just quiet, thats all. My mother is quiet, and it's just something that I am too. But it doesn't mean that I am stuck up or don't like to have fun or anything... I just don't like to talk all the dang time. In fact, I consider it a virtue that I'm not always talkin out my you-know-what like other ppl do, lol.
I agree. Everyone has a story. Their own story. I am the same way. I want to go away to grad school and start over a new me but I doubt that will happen. I'm going to try though.
I feel you ... its more evident in the blog world where people feel they know you because they may read your blog... and then make assumptions about you and your intentions...
crazy
your story is powerful and i guess i probably need to start at the beginning of your blog to get a better grasp of you as a person, but i would've never guess that was your story.
some people take judging to an extreme that i can't even fathom and it makes me wonder what their stories are that make them so uppity and almighty themselves.
Tell it gurl, i was most hated growing up because people wanted to assume that i was more than i was, or thought more of me...but i just wanted to be more. I strived to be more, hell i didn't want to continue the cycle, i wanted out, and i would give all i got to do it. Haters be haters, that's what i learned early, and they still exist today, but ima be me! Period!
Thats real.
@everyone- Thanks everyone for your comments. Ya'll had a lot to say and I had ALOT to comment lol but like I said, it's A LOT. I'm just glad you guys feel me on this subject. This mess has gotta stop!
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